I should totally be doing my homework right now. I'm enrolled in an online MBA program and my employer is paying for it. It's amazing how meaningless it is when it is not your money. Not to mention the fact I have no idea what I am doing or talking about half the time. Anyways- that has nothing to do with anything, I just don't want to do it. Bad me.
A few nights ago a person that I went to high school with randomly IM'd me on Facebook. I typically don't chat on there because I feel guilty for how much time I spend on there in the first place. This person was one I didn't know well in high school, but I most definitely knew this person existed, who their family was, where they lived and all of that general information. In high school though, I was just as self-conscious as the next person and I didn't think that people always wanted to talk to me, I didn't even think that anyone really liked me. This person was expressing to me how they were surprised that I even knew they existed and said that because of the people I was associated with, I couldn't possibly care about this persons life or feelings. Man. That hit me deep. In high school I guess I was a part of that so called " popular" crowd- OMG I hate that I even just put myself in that category, or that that category even exists. The funny part is, the girls in that social network hated me, and did everything possible to make my life miserable. People didn't know it and probably still don't but wow, I was so lost and I just wanted to be liked like everyone else. I knew I believed in Jesus and I knew that being 'popular' did not matter at all. I wanted to, and I know this sounds so cliche', but I wanted to be friends with everyone. I remember thinking that the friends that I had in choir class where the friends I wish I had outside of choir. Those girls were so cool and they were actually good friends to each other. If you read this- you know who you are. Anyways, the whole point to this is that in high school we don't know anything. We don't know how hard life really is and we don't know that what we say, do and how we look at people can hurt them and affect them for the rest of their lives. The Wreckers, a country band, sings a song called "Stand Still Look Pretty." In high school this was my anthem. I struggled deeply with depression. I cried myself to sleep probably every night. This person probably never would have thought that because I was an athlete, the Homecoming Queen and voted "Best Dressed" our senior year. This song says basically that you can't tell whats going on inside, my iron smile made it impossible for people to understand that just because I was an athlete and did my hair pretty and wore too much make-up didn't mean that my life was better. I guess the whole point of this is so that people know, any age, that you really cannot judge a book by it's cover. Maybe this person felt like I didn't care about them in High School, and that is terrible, I should have said Hi, I should have asked them how their day was going I should I have said something. I was young and stupid. I'm old enough now, and high school was long ago enough now to understand that we all have been through something different. Each person I went to High School with had a different high school experience. I hated high school. You couldn't pay me enough money to go back. But I guess I just wish that I could go back and hang out with those people who I didn't hang out with, and love the ones who have to this day never felt one ounce of love anywhere. It really grinds me gears to know that I missed my chance, I missed my chance to love and to allow Jesus to shine through my every word and action. That's what I'm here for. To love, to talk and listen, to sacrifice and serve. Gosh, why can't I just get that through my head.
My prayer tonight is that all of those people who I didn't smile at, or didn't talk to - all of the people who I didn't express any interest towards because my own bad decisions were consuming my life- I pray that they would feel love and that they would sense God's presence and desire for them. Gosh, I just want to be so real. Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves, take a minute today to tell the outcast around you that you like their shoes, or bring them a cup of coffee or something- just notice them. You never know who's life God will allow you to change for the kingdom.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Bloom where you're planted
Good morning! Yes, it is morning and I am blogging in bed! On Tuesdays and Thursdays I don't have to go into work until 11am. Sometimes I love it- sometimes I don't love it. Today, I kind of like it because I finally felt good enough to just lay in bed and be lazy. I haven't been able to do that for so long. I kept thinking that I needed to get up and go for a run or read all of my bible or the two books I am trying to finish that I carry with me everywhere I go. Instead, I just laid here. Dozed in and out of sleep and caught myself praying for certain things. I've been really challenged with God, prayer, faithfulness and hope- and what that all means recently and it bothered me so much I couldn't relax. It has finally occurred to me that it isn't a bad thing for me to be wrestling with these things. It's okay, the answers just don't come as easy and and as freely as they used to.
Yesterday, God kind showed me in an indirect way how he was providing for me and he was in charge of my every step. About two months ago I was offered a new position at the school/company I work for in a different department than I was currently in. I accepted the position and have been enjoying it. The old position that I left, was eliminated as of yesterday. I would be out of a job right now. God was so gracious to me and protected me from that stress and chaos before it even happened. My heart was really heavy yesterday for my co-workers who had the bear that hard news, and I hope for them all the best. I have been quick to fear and doubt and this has shown me that God's will in my life is for good.
It was chilly in Austin yesterday! It made me feel like I was home, and it was fall. I wasn't home though, I was here in Austin. This past month I have been working really hard to live in Austin. God has planted me here. I need to bloom. I need to grow. I want to love it here. God why is it so far away from my family? I get scared that I will never live near them again and that all of my love for them doesn't matter any more- because it's my lot in life to live far. I don't care how many people do it or like to do it, I don't like it. I don't want to live overseas or across the country. If that is what God has for me- I will do it and I'm sure it will be great. My prayer is that at some point I will be in driving distance from my family again. I hope it's not a selfish prayer- that has all of the wrong intentions. I desire for my family to know Jesus and understand what it means to fear the Lord and desire eternity with him. I want to see it and be a part of it, not just hear about life through the phone. Sometimes Josh and I can't seem to see this in the same way. He will go anywhere. Live anywhere. Do anything. He has an adventurous soul. He wants to leave a footprint and touch the lives of many. I do too, but I still want to be able to hug my parents and hang out with my sister and bro. I know I worry too much about the future, it just seems so short sometimes. This- is why I struggle to bloom here. So this is my shot today, to wake up and smell the fresh 70 degree air outside- TRUST GOD and just be here, live here, grow here, bloom here- where God has planted me.
Yesterday, God kind showed me in an indirect way how he was providing for me and he was in charge of my every step. About two months ago I was offered a new position at the school/company I work for in a different department than I was currently in. I accepted the position and have been enjoying it. The old position that I left, was eliminated as of yesterday. I would be out of a job right now. God was so gracious to me and protected me from that stress and chaos before it even happened. My heart was really heavy yesterday for my co-workers who had the bear that hard news, and I hope for them all the best. I have been quick to fear and doubt and this has shown me that God's will in my life is for good.
It was chilly in Austin yesterday! It made me feel like I was home, and it was fall. I wasn't home though, I was here in Austin. This past month I have been working really hard to live in Austin. God has planted me here. I need to bloom. I need to grow. I want to love it here. God why is it so far away from my family? I get scared that I will never live near them again and that all of my love for them doesn't matter any more- because it's my lot in life to live far. I don't care how many people do it or like to do it, I don't like it. I don't want to live overseas or across the country. If that is what God has for me- I will do it and I'm sure it will be great. My prayer is that at some point I will be in driving distance from my family again. I hope it's not a selfish prayer- that has all of the wrong intentions. I desire for my family to know Jesus and understand what it means to fear the Lord and desire eternity with him. I want to see it and be a part of it, not just hear about life through the phone. Sometimes Josh and I can't seem to see this in the same way. He will go anywhere. Live anywhere. Do anything. He has an adventurous soul. He wants to leave a footprint and touch the lives of many. I do too, but I still want to be able to hug my parents and hang out with my sister and bro. I know I worry too much about the future, it just seems so short sometimes. This- is why I struggle to bloom here. So this is my shot today, to wake up and smell the fresh 70 degree air outside- TRUST GOD and just be here, live here, grow here, bloom here- where God has planted me.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
the ugly truth.
It really has been since August since I've last blogged. Apparently everything that has been necessary to write down has been in the journal that sits by my bed. All things in which you probably would not want to know anyways.
Last time I was here, Grant was hittin' the field for his 1st Varsity football game. That day came and went, and I was able to watch him play on Homecoming. Josh and I flew home October 7,8,9,10 and got to hang out with family all weekend. We spent time at his parents and a lot of time with my mom, abby, braylon and grant. Being home in Michigan for fall was awesome, the colors of the trees made me never want to leave, and the weather was enough to take my breath away. I could sit in my moms front yard all day and be perfectly content. I don't know what it is, but I find some kind of peace there. Watching Braylon play and the dogs lay in the yard, and just being on the front steps seems to feel really good. I know I won't be saying this when all of that snow comes, but I think I'll even miss that a little.
I have a devotional book that I read out of every night before I go to bed. It's called, Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. If you are looking for a good one, I highly recommend this. It's awesome and every night I read it, God speaks to me and I find myself nodding my head. Unfortunately, I have really been struggling in my faith recently. The ups and downs of life have gotten me into a bad frame of mind, and God is allowing this time of struggle in my life. I shared a bit of my testimony with a small group of people at church this morning, and I was reminded of how much I have been through as a 22 year old. Not that much compared to probably most people in the world, but to me it was a lot. Looking back now, life is/should be good. For some reason though, now is when my faith is tested to the limit. Now is when doubt, fear, anxiety and bitterness have latched on and won't let go. The Word says that we will face trials of many kinds, we will be persecuted and pushed to the limit. I, in my head, thought that my limit had come and gone. How much more could I take? Moving to Austin was exciting, an adventure, and the next big thing in my life. My love was here, and I felt like God had more for me to do here than he did anywhere else.
Moving right along, the devotion I read tonight was delightful. I'm doubting God left and right, I'm finding myself in tears because I am literally just scared of everything and I am becoming frustrated, bitter and angry and I have no idea why. Clearly, I want this to stop. So, reading, listening, writing in my journal, counseling and constatnely praying for Gods voice, or presence or something- ANYTHING! Day by day I have just been learning perseverance and patients. So often, I don't feel better, I don't feel healed.
"We should never give ourselves the freedom to doubt God or his eternal love and faithfulness towards us in everything."
"Then as we stand firm, refusing to doubt, the Holy Spirit will come to your aid giving us the faith of God and crowing us with His victory."
Let us "count it all joy" when we cannot feel one emotion of happiness. Let us rejoice by faith, by resolution, by reckoning, and we shall surely find that God will make the reckoning real. --Selected
the end.
Last time I was here, Grant was hittin' the field for his 1st Varsity football game. That day came and went, and I was able to watch him play on Homecoming. Josh and I flew home October 7,8,9,10 and got to hang out with family all weekend. We spent time at his parents and a lot of time with my mom, abby, braylon and grant. Being home in Michigan for fall was awesome, the colors of the trees made me never want to leave, and the weather was enough to take my breath away. I could sit in my moms front yard all day and be perfectly content. I don't know what it is, but I find some kind of peace there. Watching Braylon play and the dogs lay in the yard, and just being on the front steps seems to feel really good. I know I won't be saying this when all of that snow comes, but I think I'll even miss that a little.
I have a devotional book that I read out of every night before I go to bed. It's called, Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. If you are looking for a good one, I highly recommend this. It's awesome and every night I read it, God speaks to me and I find myself nodding my head. Unfortunately, I have really been struggling in my faith recently. The ups and downs of life have gotten me into a bad frame of mind, and God is allowing this time of struggle in my life. I shared a bit of my testimony with a small group of people at church this morning, and I was reminded of how much I have been through as a 22 year old. Not that much compared to probably most people in the world, but to me it was a lot. Looking back now, life is/should be good. For some reason though, now is when my faith is tested to the limit. Now is when doubt, fear, anxiety and bitterness have latched on and won't let go. The Word says that we will face trials of many kinds, we will be persecuted and pushed to the limit. I, in my head, thought that my limit had come and gone. How much more could I take? Moving to Austin was exciting, an adventure, and the next big thing in my life. My love was here, and I felt like God had more for me to do here than he did anywhere else.
Moving right along, the devotion I read tonight was delightful. I'm doubting God left and right, I'm finding myself in tears because I am literally just scared of everything and I am becoming frustrated, bitter and angry and I have no idea why. Clearly, I want this to stop. So, reading, listening, writing in my journal, counseling and constatnely praying for Gods voice, or presence or something- ANYTHING! Day by day I have just been learning perseverance and patients. So often, I don't feel better, I don't feel healed.
"We should never give ourselves the freedom to doubt God or his eternal love and faithfulness towards us in everything."
"Then as we stand firm, refusing to doubt, the Holy Spirit will come to your aid giving us the faith of God and crowing us with His victory."
Let us "count it all joy" when we cannot feel one emotion of happiness. Let us rejoice by faith, by resolution, by reckoning, and we shall surely find that God will make the reckoning real. --Selected
the end.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I never knew the day would come...
Tomorrow will be Grant's first Varsity Football game.
I have a lot of mixed emotions and feelings about this. Since before I can remember, going to watch Grant play sports of any kind has been such a joy to me. I loved going with my parents to baseball or basketball tournaments, and I loved watching Grant play football- even when he was so young and such a baby!!! Through out college, I would go home every possible chance (every week) during football season to watch this kid play football. I was always, and still am, SO proud of him.
I have been trying to prepare myself for tomorrow for a long time. I don't think anyone really understands how bad I want to be there. Like- I would have done anything to be there. Why though, does God allow that to not happen? It doesn't seem like there is a very good reason for it- but there has to be. God is using this, or will use this to teach me something or grow a different part of me.
I'll probably cry tomorrow, like I did today and the day before, just thinking about all the games I have watched Grant play, and now.. his big Varsity debut... I miss. Geez- I sound pretty depressing don't I? It's very hard for me not to be there. "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understandings, in all of your ways acknowledge him and he will keep your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6. I need to do this. My faith is so weak and little. I know what is truth, but I struggle to live it. I know what is life, but I struggle to find it. I know where my help comes from... I just have to let it.
I know tomorrow night at 7pm when Grant marches out there on the field in Blue and Gold withe the rest of the Birch Run Panthers, a new era begins in his life. I did get the privilege to drop him off a football camp this last time I was home. I know it sounds crazy- and I'm not his mom- but it felt like I had just let one of my own go! I cried rather heavily as I drove away recounting all of the times I dropped him off to football practice every summer in years past.
My brother and sister are my best friends. There is not anything that has ever come between us. We have been through thick and thin, through the best of times and the worst of times and we are still standing. I am so thankful and so blessed to be called their sister- and I hope they know every day, no matter how far away from them I am- how deeply I love them.
I always wondered where I would be when Grant started playing Varsity football. I never thought I'd miss it. I never thought I'd be here. I never knew the day would come... but it's here!
Grant- #20! I'm so proud of you and I can't wait to see you play. I love you so much!
I have a lot of mixed emotions and feelings about this. Since before I can remember, going to watch Grant play sports of any kind has been such a joy to me. I loved going with my parents to baseball or basketball tournaments, and I loved watching Grant play football- even when he was so young and such a baby!!! Through out college, I would go home every possible chance (every week) during football season to watch this kid play football. I was always, and still am, SO proud of him.
I have been trying to prepare myself for tomorrow for a long time. I don't think anyone really understands how bad I want to be there. Like- I would have done anything to be there. Why though, does God allow that to not happen? It doesn't seem like there is a very good reason for it- but there has to be. God is using this, or will use this to teach me something or grow a different part of me.
I'll probably cry tomorrow, like I did today and the day before, just thinking about all the games I have watched Grant play, and now.. his big Varsity debut... I miss. Geez- I sound pretty depressing don't I? It's very hard for me not to be there. "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understandings, in all of your ways acknowledge him and he will keep your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6. I need to do this. My faith is so weak and little. I know what is truth, but I struggle to live it. I know what is life, but I struggle to find it. I know where my help comes from... I just have to let it.
I know tomorrow night at 7pm when Grant marches out there on the field in Blue and Gold withe the rest of the Birch Run Panthers, a new era begins in his life. I did get the privilege to drop him off a football camp this last time I was home. I know it sounds crazy- and I'm not his mom- but it felt like I had just let one of my own go! I cried rather heavily as I drove away recounting all of the times I dropped him off to football practice every summer in years past.
My brother and sister are my best friends. There is not anything that has ever come between us. We have been through thick and thin, through the best of times and the worst of times and we are still standing. I am so thankful and so blessed to be called their sister- and I hope they know every day, no matter how far away from them I am- how deeply I love them.
I always wondered where I would be when Grant started playing Varsity football. I never thought I'd miss it. I never thought I'd be here. I never knew the day would come... but it's here!
Grant- #20! I'm so proud of you and I can't wait to see you play. I love you so much!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
8 Months ago today..
Today was Wednesday. I did something kind of funny today. I went on a tour of a hair school [[Regency Beauty Institute]]. AGAIN. I've been to several different hair schools and visited. Each one I feel as though I was meant to be there. It's really interesting because at this point it seems nearly impossible to do? I've wanted to do hair since I was in high school. God has ordained my steps though. If I would have went to Cosmetology school and skipped out on SAU, I wouldn't be where I am today. I would have missed out on the experience that I consider the best days of my life. Anyways, I walked out of there confident that I will do hair some day, I just don't know when.
I was able to tour the school before work this morning because Wednesday's are days when I work from 11am -8pm. SICK. I hate working those hours. I seriously think I am going to go crazy when I'm there that late some time. One new development since the last blog post... I got a new job! Starting September 7, 2010 I will be a Financial Aid Officer for The Art Institute of Austin. I'm pretty excited about it. It's a new challenge, something to get my wheels turning again in my mind.
Tomorrow marks 8 months from the day I pulled out of my moms driveway and left for Texas. I can still see her, Braylon and Grant in the review mirrors. As hard as that is to think about, I know it was the right decision. I forget so often how the Lord brought me here. I forget that God is never going to bring me to a place and just leave me there. When I was at camp this last month, my cousin Kelly encouraged me to, " grow where you are planted." I have had a hard time forgetting that. God has planted me in Austin, Texas with Josh Rickard. We are surrounded by people who love us, care about us, and who would do anything for us. I feel so guilty because I have been so unfaithful in doubting that God has a plan for me, for my life and for my future with Josh and my family.
I have a busy weekend coming up, and a lot to look forward too. This weekend is jam packed with a night out downtown with Josh for a going away party :), working all day Saturday and catching up with a great mentor and friend Jenn, and then church and Chelsea's lingerie shower on Sunday [[which I am cooking all of the food for... YIKES]].
A week from tomorrow- Abby and Braylon fly in!! Wow- I can say that my level of excitement is through the roof. I am so excited to have them all to myself.
I'm so blessed, and my prayer is that I would not forget that. That we would all count our blessings and know that our life is to be lived for the Glory of God, and everything else will fall into place... it always does.
xO. Em
I was able to tour the school before work this morning because Wednesday's are days when I work from 11am -8pm. SICK. I hate working those hours. I seriously think I am going to go crazy when I'm there that late some time. One new development since the last blog post... I got a new job! Starting September 7, 2010 I will be a Financial Aid Officer for The Art Institute of Austin. I'm pretty excited about it. It's a new challenge, something to get my wheels turning again in my mind.
Tomorrow marks 8 months from the day I pulled out of my moms driveway and left for Texas. I can still see her, Braylon and Grant in the review mirrors. As hard as that is to think about, I know it was the right decision. I forget so often how the Lord brought me here. I forget that God is never going to bring me to a place and just leave me there. When I was at camp this last month, my cousin Kelly encouraged me to, " grow where you are planted." I have had a hard time forgetting that. God has planted me in Austin, Texas with Josh Rickard. We are surrounded by people who love us, care about us, and who would do anything for us. I feel so guilty because I have been so unfaithful in doubting that God has a plan for me, for my life and for my future with Josh and my family.
I have a busy weekend coming up, and a lot to look forward too. This weekend is jam packed with a night out downtown with Josh for a going away party :), working all day Saturday and catching up with a great mentor and friend Jenn, and then church and Chelsea's lingerie shower on Sunday [[which I am cooking all of the food for... YIKES]].
A week from tomorrow- Abby and Braylon fly in!! Wow- I can say that my level of excitement is through the roof. I am so excited to have them all to myself.
I'm so blessed, and my prayer is that I would not forget that. That we would all count our blessings and know that our life is to be lived for the Glory of God, and everything else will fall into place... it always does.
xO. Em
Friday, August 6, 2010
time will rob you blind.
It is indeed that time of year. Wedding bells are ringing and girls all over the country are putting on their big white dresses and walking down the aisle starting a whole new journey in life. Tomorrow one of my best friends from my childhood is getting married. My sister and I are in the wedding. This is the first one of my "good friends" other than my sister and a friend from college that has gotten married. As I sit here the night before her wedding- I can't help but think of all of the memories we have together. All of the times we (Becky and I) would drive around in her car or mine, or walk to each others house or ride fourwheelers together. We were neighbors (about a mile apart) and spent a lot of time together growing up. I never realized that a day would come when both of us would get married. When we would stop being our daddy's little girls. I had this same reality hit me when my sister got married. Marriage is a big thing. The older I get, the more I realize that it's not just a fairy tail. That it is not just about the wedding- but it's about the marriage that comes after the wedding. I hope nothing but the best for Becky and Vince, and I pray that God would lead them in a direction ending in His arms.
Of course, since I am in this wedding, I am home in Michigan again. Last week I was home for Simpson Park Camp for about 5 days. It was nice to be at my moms for a while and then to get to spend some time in Romeo, MI with the other half of the family. As you can imagine, 2 trips from Texas to Michigan in the last week have been a bit tiring. I love it though. I really needed this time to be with my family and be "home" for a while. Austin is becoming more and more like "my" home- but it will never be home. Coming to Birch Run and being around my family and just in the cool Michigan weather is a unmistakable feeling that nothing can replace. I feel as though for the first time in a long time, I enjoy being here. As I sit here and watch Grant playing video games in his room-- I am reminded again at how much time has passed. I feel like I'm 18 still- but then that would make him 10 and we all know that he is not 10. He is 5'8 and solid muscle weighing in at 130lbs- ON VARSITY FOOTBALL. My word- wasn't he just learning how to ride a bike in our front yard while I laid on the grass trying to figure out what the clouds looked like that day? More recently- it has scared me how quickly the time goes. For so long I "couldn't wait" for so many things. I am not at the point where I just want to slow it all down. If you know me, you know I would never say something like that. Every day though, I have to face the reality that life is going to keep going. Things are going to keep changing and I, as well as everyone around me, is going to keep getting older. It can be fun though-- I just have to let it be!
Tomorrow is the big day for Becky. Makes me wonder what it will feel like when it's my big day. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves though- I think I'll just go finish my homework for now. ;) Pictures of Becky's wedding- to come!
Have a great weekend- whoever you are.
peace.
Of course, since I am in this wedding, I am home in Michigan again. Last week I was home for Simpson Park Camp for about 5 days. It was nice to be at my moms for a while and then to get to spend some time in Romeo, MI with the other half of the family. As you can imagine, 2 trips from Texas to Michigan in the last week have been a bit tiring. I love it though. I really needed this time to be with my family and be "home" for a while. Austin is becoming more and more like "my" home- but it will never be home. Coming to Birch Run and being around my family and just in the cool Michigan weather is a unmistakable feeling that nothing can replace. I feel as though for the first time in a long time, I enjoy being here. As I sit here and watch Grant playing video games in his room-- I am reminded again at how much time has passed. I feel like I'm 18 still- but then that would make him 10 and we all know that he is not 10. He is 5'8 and solid muscle weighing in at 130lbs- ON VARSITY FOOTBALL. My word- wasn't he just learning how to ride a bike in our front yard while I laid on the grass trying to figure out what the clouds looked like that day? More recently- it has scared me how quickly the time goes. For so long I "couldn't wait" for so many things. I am not at the point where I just want to slow it all down. If you know me, you know I would never say something like that. Every day though, I have to face the reality that life is going to keep going. Things are going to keep changing and I, as well as everyone around me, is going to keep getting older. It can be fun though-- I just have to let it be!
Tomorrow is the big day for Becky. Makes me wonder what it will feel like when it's my big day. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves though- I think I'll just go finish my homework for now. ;) Pictures of Becky's wedding- to come!
Have a great weekend- whoever you are.
peace.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
You're ok.
psalms 121:
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
If you read this- I hope you are encouraged. I feel as though many of my friends and family, myself included, are in the midst of troubled times. This verse has been my glue- the words, inspired by God, to hold me together. I'm often presented with the idea that we as human beings "can't do this anymore." Awesome, but not true. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. You can't wake up another day, to face another hard miserable day? You can. The relationship that Christ wants to have with you is an intimate one. Every morning- ask God for his hand in the day. Knowing that we don't have to rely only on ourselves for anything is something hard to grasp. It's cool though, because if you let it happen and you trust in the word of the Lord, the hard times will still be there... but your holding the hand of Jesus this time- and you're ok.
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