After spending too much money at the dress for less place, I made my way over to my friends house who was having people over for dinner. My heart was warm tonight as I left as well. Dinner was amazing, and the company was fantastic. I realized something as I sat around my friends dinner table, drinking a lovely cocktail and talking with two outstanding women about people, faith, Jesus and hardship. I realized that I like where I live. It has been a process of trying to figure out what I am feeling right now- but God really showed me tonight that friends, and community and laughter are the things that make life rich and full. Although in Michigan, I had all of those things, God wanted to give me more. He wants to always give us more. I was so blessed by the people at the house tonight. My friend who's house we were at is going through a divorce. Her house needed to be put back together and 3 couples who are dear friends to her all were there. They were there picking up the pieces, holding her hand, making her dinner, helping her laugh and loving on her like I've never seen. In that moment of seeing these people moving furniture, cooking dinner, fixing ceiling fans and keeping normalcy-- I felt at peace. It was almost like the Lord had said, "Emily it is okay to be here- I love you and I am keeping you." I've always struggled with guilt. I felt guilty for leaving my family, my friends, my HOUSE that i grew up in, my dogs... my hometown. Feeling guilty keeps us from being happy. Feeling guilty is not what God has laid out for us, and it's not how he wants us to live. I feel like I have been holding myself back from experiencing the emotion of joy and happiness for years now. Even though the Lord has and is continuing to bless me, I find myself not able to rejoice in fear of making other people feel bad because of where they are at in life. If we go through life, never rejoicing in what the Lord has done, no one will see what He can and will do. [[Lightbulb goes off]]. I love where I live, I love my boyfriend, I love these people that God surrounds me with wherever I go. It is only because of his love that I am where I am right at this moment.
At the end of the day, I sit here in my bed and while I try to think about 400 different things, the one thing that stands out to me now more than ever is that God never leaves us. Wherever we go, He goes first and he prepares a place for us. I rest in knowing that God brought me here to Austin, and that wherever you are-- he knew you were going to be there. Good or bad, He knows where you are and what your heart is beating for and what it is feeling like. The good news of God... "The kingdom of God is near. Repent (turn away from sin, and run into the arms of Christ) and BELIEVE the good news." Mark 1:15. "... and surely I am with you always, till the very end of the age." Matt. 28:20.